flyboywind

I remember. I remember the moment I realized that I loved you. I thought I did before. I thought I would be with you, sometime, soon. I remember. I remember the moment we met, years before. I remember being too caught up in my own crap. I remember that my world was ending. and then; you. I remember the moments inbetween. I remember trying to get your attention. what a fool he was, trying to win a battle I'd already won. I remember the words not written. the words never said. I remember thinking how you _must_ be smitten. I remember when I had to go. the moment I became my own foe. the moment I assumed, you'd share my joy. my enjoyment. my

as the years pass by and we grow apart I am left to wonder did we ever start?

I hope you're happy I'll say it gladly and mean it too. as I quietly grit my teeth and clench my fists. I look up wistfully and regret every missed moment as I quietly welcome the burn in my throat and feel the familiar wetness building. I reach up and pour out another as I think about the story this bottle could tell and relish another valentine's day alone. someday I hope I'll look back at this memory she'll be with me and I'll be happy. enough. someday, one day I'll wake up head, not clouded with you and I hope I'll smile I hope you're happy I hope you smile as you kiss him goodbye and you wish never to part again

you know, I dreamt about you I used to wonder what it'd be like, you and me. everybody thought you were clumsy even me but I thought something else too more like I used to wonder what you'd look like for prom because you'd be so suited to something so elegant even if you kept telling me you would hate it. some of the other girls said you were spindly of course they'd say that, they weren't as tall as you every time I looked, I thought you were so beautiful so toned from running and playing every sport you could even when you had to cut your hair short, even though I hated it, you were still amazing. I guess, since I've known y

I asked you to come here. you said no. I want you to come here. now you can. but you won't. I'm losing this battle, between me and myself. against you and yourself. against everything and everybody. I wonder if it will be a mistake to be there so soon after. or if it was a mistake not to be there sooner. so where are we now? after I couldn't man up last year. after these last few years. where are we now, both with broken hearts. where are you now? are you running to his arms? will you ever long for mine? (like I have for yours?) if ever I wanted to be with you, it is now. if I can't bring myself to you. if you can't come t

I loved yesterday I loved what it meant I loved the awkward, painful, mind-numbing stupidity of it all I loved you you gave me purpose you gave me focus you gave me direction and the willpower to overcome the biggest fears I had even when I was a nomad, wondering aimlessly in life I loved yesterday I loved you I loved what it meant what it meant to me I loved every minute we spent together the smallest fraction of time that my mind could process I loved it every awkward glance every awkward laugh every time we poured out our hearts to each other but I suppose that's gone now maybe you are a true friend and maybe I can't he

we keep saying all these nothings just friendly conversation and it kills me all I can think about is you and how much I want to scream out loud "I love you" people say that I shouldn't say it but every last fibre of me screams I know that you're everything everything I'd ever hoped for everything to me and I hate that I can't tell you I keep trying I keep writing to you it should be so obvious everybody else around us can see it neither of us can, apparently we keep talking and saying nothing this isn't what I want you tell me that you're feeling down I'm trying to cheer you up a little, and you shoot me down. I feel

you make my heart flutter what gift of gab? I can't find words when you're around the words I work so hard to use well my belly shakes like I'm freezing I have this feeling like I should tell you how I feel before somebody else does before its too late before my heart dies from beating too hard my friends ask me what I see in you especially when she's all but throwing herself over me when all my "friends" are jealous that someone so "hot" would want someone like me even though I'm nearly blind aren't they the ones that can't see? just how beautiful you are how beautiful your heart is and there you go you smile at me again